Let me get this out of the way at the front. I lost my scarf at the ROM in the cafe. The cafe was madness. The scarf was not turned into lost and found. It was worn out by someone. Someone is wearing my scarf right now.
So we went to the ROM.
I tried to convince my parents (whom have never been) or my friends (whom go too often) to join us. I informed them both that we are going to see swords and dinosaurs and ONLY swords and dinosaurs.
Nova informed me, we’re also going to see the animals too. I grudgingly accepted as the animals are on the same floor as the dinosaurs.
1st Floor (Known as the Zeroth Floor to Europeans)
I bought the tickets online. I parked on Bedford in a very shady parking garage. It was darn cold outside and a darn cold walk with two little boys, but at least I had my scarf to keep me warm. We went through the gift shop, gave the guy our online tickets, and found the bathroom. Tristan and I went first. There we found the bathroom of the retro future. The Dyson faucet at the ROM both wets and dries your hands. I have no idea why this is advantageous. It’s like someone took an uppercase T and bent the arms slightly. Water comes out the middle and a raging jet out the sides. The urinals are like peeing into a little egg chair. I did enjoy that. I’m not sure if the egg urinal shape had anything to do with it.
2nd Floor Dinosaurs Only
After bathroom breaks we went up to the second floor and walked through the naturalist collection of animals, insects and birds. I always like the birds. They are fascinating. I liked this guy (see rhino picture) a lot as well. He looked like he used to be a swell guy. I had Ulee strapped to my chest and Nova was taking Tristan through everything. I did not read a single little plaque. I think age has dulled me to indifference. I have the gist of the animal kingdom as we know it. Besides I was only here to see two things.
The B Floor Left Side
Packing two kids and driving to Toronto is hard. We olds get hungry. Tristan wants to keep going. We’re starving. Ulee is a goldfish. He just hangs there.
We take the elevator to the B to go to the cafe. Unfortunately there are two Bs. There is a left B and a right B. The left B is for schools and families with brown bags. We are not that prepared. We need to go to the right B where they sell food at airport prices.
The B Floor Right Side
I lose my scarf in the chaos that is the Druxy Cafe. The ordering method makes no sense. Each station has its own ridiculously long line; except the salad line, which somehow still takes forever.
There are only two open registers, which after waiting in line to get the food one still-scarved patron re-evaluates why he didn’t just go to the restaurant at the top of the ROM instead of eating at the bottom with the proles (who would eventually steal his scarf). He knows why. He has two kids.
The tables are chaotic, noisy and I ask someone for their pile of napkins because I couldn’t find my own from a dispenser. I eat my salad. Why, you may ask would I complain about lines if I went to the shortest, most least popular line? The answer is because I bought Nova a cold hot sandwich from the slowest, most inefficient line while she and Tristan went to eat their delicious fries, onion rings and hot dog.
At least the baby hadn’t start crying.
I’m going to get a tea. Nova says.
The baby starts crying.
Did I mention I lost my scarf? This is where I lost it. Baby screaming, stroller crashing into tables; Tristan touching the garbage chute doors; Nova off making a tea and me still wearing the scarf around my neck. My neck damp, I take it off, put it on the stroller and never see it again.
3rd Floor Swords
By the time we made it out of the cafe (after feeding Ulee), I stopped taking pictures (hence the spiders and bugs).I didn’t get any pictures of swords. By the third floor, we were both exhausted and frustrated and I was obsessing about my silly scarf and had to go to lost and found solo, which led to Nova getting lost on the wrong floor which then had us finally meet up at the swords, look at them for 30 seconds then start looking for a corner to feed Ulee a second time.
After he ate, we went to the gift shop; I checked lost and found again, then went to get the car sans scarf. I called the ROM the next day, but they didn’t call me back.
Tristan had a blast and we (Nova and I) felt good knowing we could still get things done downtown if we needed to, even when its -30. Ulee is like a goldfish. He looks around; makes some bubbles, then poops and needs to be fed again. I’m sure he liked it too.
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