Awesome Review of Three Unrelated Things

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This post is about three things: (1) the C Clamp by Benchmark, (2) the Martha Stewart nickel plated bed and (3) my rotundity (also Dragon Age: Origins).

Dragon Age: Origins Review

I have broken four beds, one of them at a bed and breakfast in Niagara-on-the-Lake. This is not a number to be proud of. I am big at 6’4″ and I used to be in shape. Now I am less so. A few months ago I was getting shape again, but then I stopped. I blame everyone (mostly my 3-month old) and everything (all those delicious Christmas treats), but really I own it. I eat too many snacks and drink too much beer, and when the opportunity for free time presents itself I turn on the Playstation and (this month) play Dragon Age. No one cares about my Elvish Mage in my home, with my friends or at my job. On the Internet, I could of course rack up hits talking about levelling up and best tactics, but all that does not fix my rotundity.

Heroic Feats

Hours played: 34 years
Enemies defeated: 0
Beds crushed: 4

Board-Game-LifeI hate it when whitebread (yes like the loaf; it’s a metaphor) news personalities talk about the latest HD graphics in the game of life (an obvious lie as the game of life remains low-res), but come on now (1) Dragon Age is lame; I say this a gamer with a platinum trophy for Mass Effect 2 and (2) my rotundity will not improve through the niceties of maintaining the status quo. I need to change. That means less time in Ferelden and more time with Tony Horton.

Pros

Intensely mindless.

Cons

Does nothing for my self esteem.

Overall Score

8/10

Final Thoughts

I am hate playing this game now. I should stop, but either I play it or I read Gawker and I am hate reading a lot of stuff there lately.

The Martha Stewart Nickel Bed Review

A couple days ago I looked at the bed and said ‘hun, something is a bit off.’

She said ‘I told you that last week. The bolts need to be tightened. It’s sagging.’

The bottom right post was at about 80 degrees to the floor. The bottom left (her side) looked okay. I went to sleep. The next morning I thought about those bolts and I looked at those bolts and those bolts were as snug as ever. I left it alone again,

This morning I looked again. I looked closer and yes indeed the nickel bed frame beam had bent in the middle from my girth and rotundness.

The Martha Stewart bed is probably the most expensive piece of furniture we own. It’s shiny and pretty and now bent. It should have these little dippy legs in the crossbeams that run across the middle, but we jammed boxes under the bed at the condo and bent all those legs. Since the house the bed has been on four legs instead of seven. Now I see the error of my ways. I should have been more careful pushing things under the bed. I should have sat like a ninja putting on my socks not like The Rock delivering the people’s elbow. Now I need eBay, ehow and Yahoo answers.

I buy new 10″ legs on ebay. I also read about fixing a bent metal frame (ehow; more like e-buy a new one) and again at Yahoo Answers where I learn the magic of the C Clamp (can’t find the link anymore).

Pros

Really nice looking bed.

Cons

Needs a mattress.

Overall Score

8/10

Final Thoughts

I previously had a mattress on the floor before I got into a serious relationship. I was comfortable with that. Now I have a mattress on the floor again and it is weird and slightly uncomfortable. I need my ebay order to arrive.

 The C Clamp By Benchmark Review

IMG_4250I admit my first instinct was the hammer. This is wrong. I tried it anyhow and yes it is wrong. Use the C Clamp. I recommend the first ones you find or the ones closest to you. I went to Home Hardware and bought a Benchmark four pack.

Pros

Does exactly what you want it to do.

Cons

My thumb was raw after trying to tighten down the clamp further as I tried to bend the bed frame back into shape.

Overall Score

8/10

Final Thoughts

I haven’t used other C Clamps and now I probably never will as I have these four beauties. If they break, I will let you know. Likely they won’t, but if they do score goes down.

 

 

 

 

 

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